My Say

WHAT ARE OUR FEARS

First of all you can either live your dreams or live your fears, and I think the majority of people atually not living their dreams but are living their fears, so today I want to ask you a question what are our fears? I asked why we all have something that's blocking that's holding us back. Firstly let's me define sometimes we define fears as in  many situations, it is rational and prudent to fear another person. For example, if someone physically threatens you, the best response is to get away from that person as soon as possible. However, few of our interpersonal dealings involve such dire threats. It's more likely that you would fear those who may cause you to lose your job, relationships, self-esteem, or something else of high emotional value. It's important to examine your inner reactions to the people in your life in order to understand them, and yourself, that much better. Secondly how do we learn to fear others in the first place? 

The emotion of fear is hard-wired into all creatures. As young children, your fears may have occupied much of your emotional life, perhaps because you were so vulnerable and unable to protect yourself. You probably outgrew those fears, partly by acquiring greater physical size and a wider range of abilities and experiences. In the worst scenarios—such as a bear invading your campground—you learned enough from others' stories to figure out how to get out alive.

Here are some of the negative consequences of fearing fear:

Fear of authority. Many people fear their bosses. Obviously, an employer or supervisor controls your own economic stability. In the contemporary workplace, however, there are controls against a capricious boss acting out in a moment of anger by firing a qualified employee. Due process and consistency with union statutes protect workers against this, as does the belief that many employers have in the value of supervisors and supervisees cooperating in a collegial way to maximize productivity. It’s possible that some supervisor truly deserve to be feared, if they act in unpredictable and punitive ways. But people may also project their childhood fears of harm or criticism onto bosses who do not act in fear-provoking ways.

Increased anxiety. Following from Nelson’s analysis, gender dynamics may also affect the relationships that men and women have in the workplace. By stifling their fears to avoid looking weak, men may actually be creating more anxiety for themselves. They don’t want to admit that they’re afraid of getting fired, allowing that undercurrent of worry to fester for weeks, months, or years. Because of fear, they may even avoid supervisory evaluations, which would help them function as more adaptive employees.

Decline in productivity. According to this analysis, women trying to look more “competent” (and male-like) may attempt to cover up their emotional reactions as well. From the organization’s point of view, these circumstances hinder employees' ability to relax and be productive.

Misinterpreted gestures. If you have deep-seated anxieties about how well you fit in with the family as a whole, you may interpret what might be a neutral glance from that in-law as a glare filled with criticism. The fear this engenders only makes things worse. You may behave in an unnatural and overly guarded way that in turn creates actual grounds for negative feelings and poor communication.
Separate your own insecurities from the actual threats that the people in your life present to you. Not only will you feel better, but your relationships with those people will benefit, as well.